Fun Facts Friday: Transfaunation

When you think about it, cows are pretty amazing creatures. They thrive by eating a bunch of stuff that would have no nutritional value for you and me. (Plus, magnets!)

Bacteria are a cow’s best friends

The reason this works for cows is that they are essentially a giant fermentation chamber on legs. They eat a bunch of roughage, drink some water, blend it all up, and then let the specialized bacteria in the rumen do their thing. Those bacteria digest the roughage and produce volatile fatty acids (VFAs) which is something the cow actually can use. So the cow feeds the bacteria and the bacteria feed the cow and everyone is happy.

Except when they’re not…

If something happens to the bacteria, the cow is full of fiber that it can’t do anything with. Even if you fix the problem that killed the bacteria in the first place (often a sudden diet change), that doesn’t magically repopulate the rumen. You still have a cow that is starving to death with a stomach full of food.

With time and luck, if not all of the good bacteria are dead, they may multiply and get back to full strength. Fingers crossed. But there are all kinds of things that can go wrong, and in the meantime, the cow is pretty miserable. What you need is a big bucket of the right bacteria that you can put straight into the cow’s stomach. But where are you going to find that?

Herd is the word

The answer is in the cow next door. Any other cow on a similar diet has a giant vat full of the exact bacterial soup you need. So you get what you need from a healthy cow, then pump that bacterial broth into the rumen of the sick cow, and now you have a fermentation vat on four legs again. That process is called transfaunation.

This whole process is possible when your healthy donor cow has a fistulated rumen. Essentially, that’s a rumen with a permanent porthole. When you need to transfaunate, you unscrew the cover on the side of the cow, siphon out some liquid, screw the cover back on, give the cow a few extra scritches for being good, and then send her back to the herd again.

The vet school kept a few fistulated cows and those cows weren’t bothered by their fistulas at all. They probably lived longer too. In a world where cows have to justify the cost of their feed, a fistulated cow is worth keeping around, even if it doesn’t have great milk production.

An orange and green bird (conure) in profile.
Mackie the conure is not a cow though she would probably scream with delight if she saw one. (Mackie likes to scream.) Forgive her untidy feathers — she’s in the middle of a molt.

During Fun Facts Friday, I talk about something I think is interesting. Do you have questions? Suggestions for a future post? The urge to pick at Mackie’s feather casings? Add a comment below!

June Goals

How did it go in May?

  • Finish the major edits to SHIFT HAPPENS and get it set up for line editing. Done! Take that, life!
  • Fill out the cover art questionnaire so the artist can dive right in. I’ve been working on it. I’ll finish it this week.
  • Work a little harder on self-publishing stuff. Purchased ISBNs, came up with a name for my publishing house (Speculative Turtle Press), downloaded Vellum and started using it, and also started a self-editing course among other things.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
  • Figure out what I need to straighten out with the heist novel before it can go off for a developmental edit. Working on it…

What’s in store for June?

  • Finish the cover art questionnaire and work with the artist to get a great cover.
  • Work with my editor on SHIFT HAPPENS line edits and find someone for copy editing.
  • Write the acknowledgements section and the about-the-author section for SHIFT HAPPENS.
  • Continue to get the heist novel read for developmental edits.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
  • Upgrade the content on this website. Really, it can only get better, so this shouldn’t be too hard.
  • Start outlining the novel I’m going to start writing in June.
Big dog sleeping on a lounge chair cushion in the grass
Georgie prefers to spend his free time lounging in the sun.

Fun Facts Friday: Hardware Disease

Technically this condition is called traumatic pericarditis, but the name “hardware disease” gives a great clue to the source of the problem. As far as I can tell, this is almost exclusive a problem with cows, which makes sense because they tend to ingest a lot of things they shouldn’t.

But first, a little anatomy

You probably know your heart is a muscle. It lives in a thin sac, the pericardium, which is sort of like a bag with a bit of lubricant. The rest of the space in the chest is mostly taken up by the lungs. If you happen to be a cow, your rumen, the first of your four stomachs, is on the other side of the diaphragm.

When your heart muscle squeezes, it pushes blood into arteries. Then it relaxes and passively waits for the veins to fill it up again. Once it’s full, it contracts and sends the next bunch of blood along its way. Lather, rinse, repeat.

When it all goes bad

If you’re a cow and you happen to eat a piece of baling wire, it will likely stay in your rumen, not really causing a problem under normal circumstances. But if your rumen gets squished (generally due to late pregnancy or labor), that wire can poke through the stomach wall and the diaphragm, right into your chest.

That piece of wire has been hanging out in the rumen and is the opposite of sterile, so it’s no surprise the pericardium gets infected. Too much gas, pus, or blood building up in the pericardium means that when the heart relaxes, it can’t fill with blood — there’s no room to expand. That’s not compatible with life.

How to avoid a broken heart

These days a lot of hay bales are held together with nylon straps, so there aren’t as many pieces of baling wire on the ground. But there’s another way to solve this problem that’s pretty ingenious: magnets. For a couple dollars you can feed a bar magnet to a cow, and the magnet will sit in the rumen, grabbing any stray bits of wire, and keep anything from poking through the rumen. Problem solved!

Handsome dog, possibly an Alaskan Husky mix, looks up at the camera.
Georgie would like to remind you that he is not a cow, even if he does occasionally eat stupid things.

During Fun Facts Friday, I talk about something I think is interesting. Do you have questions? Are you dying to correct something I said? Add a comment below!

Fun Facts Friday: Anthrax

Let’s talk about anthrax. Not the weaponized version that people were sending in the mail, but the original version that is a not-uncommon soil contaminant.

You or your cow or your sheep [one of anthrax’s other names is woolsorter’s disease] eat or breathe in the Bacillus anthracis spores — which, again, are in soil everywhere — and the bacteria realize they’re in the perfect environment to multiply, and go wild. If you get antibiotics quickly, it’s treatable, but otherwise…

My large animal medicine textbook, at the beginning of the “Necropsy Findings” section says

It is recommended that a necropsy not be performed on a carcass suspected of having anthrax.

Bradford P. Smith, “Large Animal Internal Medicine” 3rd edition

There’s a really good reason for that. If the carcass is left untouched, most of the bacteria inside die off. But if the bacteria are exposed to air, they realize the jig is up and they form hardy spores so they can wait for the perfect conditions to come along again. Anthrax spores can survive for decades.

So, if you think it’s anthrax, you’re not supposed to do a necropsy. But how are you supposed to know it’s anthrax?

Again my textbook tries to be helpful.

Anthrax should be considered… when an animal is suddenly found dead after having been observed in apparent good health during the preceding 24 hours.

Bradford P. Smith, “Large Animal Internal Medicine” 3rd edition

So yeah. If you thought your sheep was healthy yesterday, and it’s suddenly dead today, it could be anthrax. On the other hand, a healthy animal that drops dead is the exact situation in which you might want to do a necropsy.

Anyhow, let’s send a kind thought to the pathology resident who got a cow in for necropsy and opened it on the path floor, cut into the spleen, and only after black tarry stuff started oozing everywhere, had the “oops, this is really bad” thought. I’m not sure how they cleaned the room or how long it took to decontaminate, but I can guarantee that particular pathologist never left anthrax off the list of possibilities ever again.


Image shows two cats lying down in a cardboard box with chewed up edges
No anthrax here, just a couple of elderly cats hanging out in a chewed-up box.

Fun Facts Friday is a new feature on the blog in which I talk about something I think is interesting. It will likely skew heavily toward veterinary medicine (because there’s so much cool stuff!), but I’ll stay away from any graphic images.

May Goals

I am still alive and healthy! As always, that’s the important thing.

How did I do on the April goals?

  • Get the first pass of major edits to SHIFT HAPPENS done. There are a couple of relationships to modify and some world building to get done.It’s close!
  • Start working out the book cover I want. I have a cover artist selected and work begins the first week in June!
  • Self-publishing stuff — get a tax ID, maybe buy a block of ISBNs, and make a list of everything that I need to do. I watched a few videos, but essentially did nothing.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.

On to the May goals!

  • Finish the major edits to SHIFT HAPPENS and get it set up for line editing.
  • Fill out the cover art questionnaire so the artist can dive right in.
  • Work a little harder on self-publishing stuff.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
  • Figure out what I need to straighten out with the heist novel before it can go off for a developmental edit.

I live just close enough to walk to the farm with the emus.

April Goals

I guess I really should have made the March goal something like “survive pandemic”. So far, so good. I’m still healthy. I’m still employed. I already worked from home part of the week, so this isn’t all that much different though the whole concept of days of the week is getting a bit fuzzy around the edges. Despite that, the whole situation has been a bit mind-blowing, so I refuse to add any more pressure by feeling bad about a lack of productivity.

In any case, my grade for the March goals is I for Incomplete. I think that most closely captures the spirit of the month. Things happened, you can make it up later.

So here are the April goals, which look mighty similar:

  • Get the first pass of major edits to SHIFT HAPPENS done. There are a couple of relationships to modify and some world building to get done.
  • Start working out the book cover I want.
  • Self-publishing stuff — get a tax ID, maybe buy a block of ISBNs, and make a list of everything that I need to do.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
Sunrise during an early morning run. The outside world still exists.

March Goals

Goofing off? Me? Okay, maybe a little. I’m doing that thing where you feel intimidated by how much you don’t know about something so you ignore it completely, assuming that you will magically figure everything out while not looking into it at all. That works, right?

Mostly though I just needed to take a couple of weeks off to do nothing after pushing to finish the heist novel. Time off is good for the soul and the creative process.

So how did I do on the February goals?

  • Get the untitled heist novel out to the WF critique group. Probably should put some kind of title on it first. (It did go out with a title, but the title was so forgettable that I’ve forgotten it already. It definitely needs a better title.)
  • Work on changes to SHIFT HAPPENS. (I got a tiny bit done.)
  • Study book covers, especially urban fantasy book covers, and get an idea of what I’m looking for and how much I’m willing to shell out to get it. (Budgets are hard when you are clueless.) (Looked at covers enough that all of them in the genre started to look exactly the same — woman in the center holding knife/gun +/- magical creatures. So I guess this it the thing to do.)
  • Continue studying how to market a book. (Ongoing.)

So on paper it looks like I did something, so I’ll give myself a solid B.

March is going to be more of the same, except I’m really going to get my act together this time for real.

  • Get the first pass of major edits to SHIFT HAPPENS done. There are a couple of relationships to modify and some world building to get done.
  • Start working out the book cover I want.
  • Self-publishing stuff — get a tax ID, maybe buy a block of ISBNs, and make a list of everything that I need to do.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
Handsome dude out for a jog

February Goals

We were going through yearly goals in one of my critique groups, and I came up with “draft two novels, and publish two novels”. I think that’s not an impossible goal, but there’s definitely going to be some learning going on.

How did January’s goals turn out?

  • Lock in an editor for SHIFT HAPPENS (general edit)
  • Finish the rough draft of the heist novel and then go back and fix the big obvious holes.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
  • Start learning about marketing.

I have the comments back from my editor and she suggested a bunch of stuff that I think will make SHIFT HAPPENS stronger, so I’m looking forward to working on those.

Overall, the January goals led to a fairly ambitious schedule and I think I did pretty well. This would all be easier if I just quit my day job. I currently have the heist novel on my Kindle for a first read-through and I think it’s going to be a fun novel.

Goals for February, the really short month:

  • Get the untitled heist novel out to the WF critique group. Probably should put some kind of title on it first.
  • Work on changes to SHIFT HAPPENS.
  • Study book covers, especially urban fantasy book covers, and get an idea of what I’m looking for and how much I’m willing to shell out to get it. (Budgets are hard when you are clueless.)
  • Continue studying how to market a book.

At some point I’m going to have to spend some time to make this here web site look like it is owned by a professional. It doesn’t have to happen this month, but soon!

Georgie and Ginger at the edge of town

January Goals

Happy New Year!

Before the new and improved goals, let’s look at how the December (a month of travel and general schedule upheaval) goals went:

  • Add another 10k to the heist novel. (I think I might have added 3k, so some, but not much)
  • Get the next chapter out to YWC for feedback.
  • Gather the feedback on IMPULSE from WF and make a plan to fix things. The group had some really good thoughts on the novel and I can see ways to make it stronger.
  • Holidailies! Daily posts on the personal blog.

So, could have been better, but it also could have been worse. You should see my running schedule if you want an example of the latter.

Anyhow, while driving to and from southern California for the third time in two months, I had a chance to think deep thoughts. Specifically, I was thinking about my agent search and whether that was the way I wanted to go. Granted, if I had agents lining up on my doorstep to sign me, I might have different thoughts. But I’m also realizing that since I tend to write things in different genres, traditional publishing might not be the best path for me.

So, long story short, I’m heading toward self-publishing. Could this be a big mistake? Sure, but at least I’m making a mistake and not just sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

So expect SHIFT HAPPENS to be out sometime this year (I think? I still have no firm grasp on the timelines). And here are the goals for January:

  • Lock in an editor for SHIFT HAPPENS (general edit)
  • Finish the rough draft of the heist novel and then go back and fix the big obvious holes.
  • Get the next chapter of IMPULSE out to YWC.
  • Start learning about marketing. (Yikes.)

It’s a new year. Time for some big things!

The big dog has his own plans for the new year, and they involve a lot of naps.

December Goals

My (unblogged) November goal was to work on the heist novel for NaNoWriMo, and despite some life challenges, I did that.

It was definitely a “triumph over adversity” year, but I’m pretty happy with how the novel is going.

But how did I do for October?

  • Get back up to 10 queries pending for SHIFT HAPPENS. (Not quite 10, but I think at least 6.)
  • Outline the chaos WIP (completely! with scenes! and characters!) in preparation for NaNoWriMo next month.
  • Get some feedback on IMPULSE and look into addressing whatever comes up.

So not terrible, but not necessarily a stunning success. Let’s see if I can do better this month…

Goals for December, keeping in mind that there will be travel and other stuff going on:

  • Add another 10k to the heist novel.
  • Get the next chapter out to YWC for feedback.
  • Gather the feedback on IMPULSE from WF and make a plan to fix things. The group had some really good thoughts on the novel and I can see ways to make it stronger.
  • Holidailies! Daily posts on the personal blog.
The old geezer squad sleeps into action…